Damsons. And an admission.

We got loads of Damsons/Plums this year, and they were delicious! I made some damson compote, too, we use it in our porridge, on pancakes, bread... And I froze some and put some into jars... 

We gave lots of them away to friends, and there are still a good few on the tree, a real bumper harvest! It's been a real fruit year, so we got to eat lots of delicious fruit that we'd never have bought in the shops (fruit are quite expensive here). Redcurrants, gooseberries, tiny strawberries, blackberries and plums did well, our cherry tree had all of four cherries, three of which were eaten by the birds!

...This post has been half written for a good two months! I have been finding it very hard lately, just getting through the day and putting dinner on the table. I've been diagnosed with osteoporosis, lost yet more weight and am still nursing my gorgeous boy, I feel very, very drained! I haven't really written anything, or knit or made. Ti is crawling and cruising and Emm is her usual energetic self, and sometimes not as kind as I'd like, to her little brother, so 100% attention at all times is required, then in the evening I seem to catch up with housework and paperwork and then fall into bed or stare at the TV for an hour. I might have to take a break from blogging!

I know there are a few of you that read my few and far between posts, stay tuned I hope to be back when the childrearing has become a little easier, or when I'm back to work! Lunchbreaks and commutes should facilitate some writing!

Ti's arrival

I finally finished writing his birth story, although, four and a half months on, a lot of the fine detail is already blurry.


In the last week before birth, I often caught P looking at me funny, and often when I said 'I'm 38 weeks, that could mean it'll be another 4 weeks before we meet the baby!' he'd answer 'I think it'll be a matter of days, rather than weeks.' Apparently my behaviour changed, and I'd often be a bit 'spaced', sometimes I'd flush and complain about the heat in the room quite suddenly, and there were increasingly vivid nightmares and dreams. 

In the last days before Ti's arrival I crossed the last few important things off my mental to do list, like doing the pediatric first aid course I'd signed up for, spending a fun day with Emm, and getting her feet measured, and I realised I felt ready and calm now (even though I still had about 2 weeks to go to the due date). Instead of cleaning and tidying, which was badly needed, I curled up on the sofa with the laptop, and wrote shopping lists and updated the document I'd written for who would end up minding Emm while we were going to Hospital, and printed the labour document that my yoga teacher from the last pregnancy had written. We went to bed quite late, but even so, I decided to put on the hypnobirthing tracks and listen to them as I went to sleep. I woke up when it was already on the last track, the relaxation music, and switched it off. Straight back to sleep I had some more vivid dreams.

Around a quarter past three Emm. woke up and I got out of bed to bring her back to hers and lift her in. As I got up from kneeling in front of her bed I felt a trickle of fluid. I went to the bathroom and was pretty sure my waters had started to go! I spent half an hour getting pads, checking everything was in the hospital bag and reading the TENS machine instructions, and plugging in the cables. As there still was no sign of contractions I went back to bed, too excited to really sleep but wisely getting some rest while I could

At 4.25 I felt a tiny contraction, with a little gush of fluid, and knew it was time to act. I woke P, and called the midwives 5 minutes later. They said to come in, but not to rush or panic. P and I debated whether we should call my neighbour straight away and decided to wait till five, unless I got contractions beforehand. He had a shave, and I a wash (I didn't want to risk a shower as that had really kick started my contractions the last time, and we did want to be sure to make it in time!) We got the bags downstairs, and got Emm's buggy and nappy bag ready. 

At 5, just as I'd called my neighbour to come over, I got another bit of fluid, and just before she arrived 15 minutes later, I got the first contraction! I stayed kneeling on a pillow, leaning over my birth ball. My brilliantly efficient neighbour made us some tea and toast while P put the TENS machine pads on my back and put the bags and some towels into the car. I got to grips with the TENS settings and plugged my headphones in, for the hypnobirthing tracks on my phone. We had a little chat about Emm and what she would make of it all, and she reassured me that labour and birth would go just fine. Just as P and I were about to get into the car, around half six, Emm woke up! We said good bye and told her where we were headed and that she would go across the road for a play date. She was alright with it all, even though we could tell she found it all very confusing, being let out of the house in her pyjamas while it was pitch dark outside! 

I started to get very irritable in the car, but the half hour journey passed quickly while I concentrated on the contractions and listened to the gentlebirth tracks. Outside the hospital I got out at the door while P parked the car. I stood and waited when a porter asked if I needed a wheelchair. I was being all polite saying 'No thanks, I'm fine' when the next contraction arrived and I quickly changed my mind. By the time P got back to me I already sat in a wheelchair, feeling rather fragile! 

When we arrived at the birthing room I got even more irritated, realising the nurse I didn't like and the midwife that annoyed me both were on duty. She asked to examine me, (The examination was worse than any of the contractions) and said I was only 3 cm dilated and the baby was with its back to my back. I got up from the lying down position as soon as I was allowed, I seem to not be able to bear lying down on my back when I'm in labour. I started to get a little worried at this point. With Emm I'd arrived in hospital 9 cm dilated and didn't feel much different to now! How would I cope with hours and hours of contractions this strong?

Back labour can take a long time, so I sent P off to find cheaper parking for the car, and worried some more about how long this labour was going to last. The midwife asked lots of questions and she was a bit hard of hearing, so I had to repeat myself, I was getting more and more irritable.  Thankfully P came back soon. I got to kneel / sit on my feet on the bed, starting to feel unbearably hot, and getting dizzy. P helped me to the bathroom to go for a wee, and i was starting to feel sick on top of dizzy. The contractions were coming quite regularly, I'm not sure how far apart, maybe 3 minutes? My TENS machine was still doing its job. 

I wanted to use the beanbags and mat, so the midwives had all this set up by the time I came back into the room. (This must have been around 8, as that is when they change shifts, so there were several midwives) I leaned sideways on a beanbag for a few contractions, feeling very dizzy and spaced in between. The cables of TENS machine and headphones were annoying me, and at some point I handed P the phone and headphones.

The midwives asked did I want gas and air and a few times I said 'No, it's too early, I'll try to wait', turning up the TENS machine a little and breathing as calmly as I could, very much in my own head and taking very little notice of anything around me, coping well with the contractions

I thought I was going to be sick and P handed me a bowl, but I didn't bring anything up. 

Then I felt a very strong contraction, where I moaned loudly and asked for the gas and air. I turned to a sitting position, leaning back into the beanbag. I felt a strong urge to push. I sucked the gas and air. The midwives said 'you can push now', I said 'but you said I'm only 3cm! It's too early' They assured me I was OK. I wanted to turn to kneel and lean on the beanbag, but I somehow couldn't and stayed sitting. 

I kept very calm and breathed deeply and let the baby come down with the next few contractions, taking gas and air with each. I never held my breath, just breathed. I felt the burning sensation and blew out the air gently and breathed slowly, and the head was born, and with the next contraction my little boy was out! At 8.15, pink and screaming, and clean like just out of the bath! The midwives dried him off a little and put him on my belly. After the cord had finished pulsing they clamped it, and the proud dad got to cut the cord. I brought my baby boy up to my breast and after a minute or so he started to suckle. The contractions were quite painful, and the placenta came out soon, no oxitocin shot needed.

Like I'd been warned, the afterpains were much more painful than with my first birth! I held on to the gas and air for a bit, and especially for when the midwife checked for tears. Thankfully I just had some superficial grazes and a small first degree tear, and needed no stitches. They said I did really well, and asked if I did yoga. (I had only done 5 or so yoga classes this time around, but still remembered a lot from my last pregnancy, and I think the gentlebirth CDs helped a lot, too) I remember being told that I was 'very controlled, breathing the baby down very controlled and gently'. The student midwife was especially enthusiastic and looked really happy.

I spent a long time leaning back into the bean bag, my husband holding my hand, my boy cuddled close to me, him drinking, then sleeping, then drinking again. We had a blanket over him to keep us warm. At some point I was getting too uncomfortable and asked to go to the bed. P took our boy and put a nappy and clothes on him. A midwife weighed him, 7pds 4 oz! 

Seeing the clean sheets on the bed I decided to have a shower first, and it was great to have the shower room ensuite. I stayed in the shower for as long as I could, but my legs started to feel tired after a while, so I quickly dried off, put clean clothes on and got into bed. A nurse brought tea and toast, and apart from the breathtakingly painful afterpains I was quite chipper and awake! I finally took the nurses up on the offer of painkillers, as I still had to 'breathe through' each contraction. 

It took P and me a good while to decide on the name, as we had a shortlist, and had to look at him, and try out the names, before we were sure which one was right. As he looked so wise and thoughtful we decided on Tadhg (poet). It was lovely to have the hour, or was it more, with naked little Ti on my belly straight after the birth, we were very much left in peace by the staff. 

What could have been better? 

- The midwife examining me should have given me a choice of how I wanted to be examined, I wouldn't be surprised if I had been more than 3cm when I arrived, and tightened up a little when I had to lie back and endure the painful examination. When I arrived at the hospital for Emm's birth I already had a strong urge to push and just didn't lie down but knelt on all fours on the bed, and that hadn't been painful.

- Being told that I was 3cm sent me into a bit of a panic, as I'd felt further along before, and worried about many hours ahead of me, with the baby facing the wrong way, too. I think I would have done better if I hadn't known, and maybe quicker, too. I very much felt in transition shortly after the exam, so I'm slightly doubtful if I really was only 3cm dilated. 

It also worried me when so soon after I was told to push, because that number was still going through my mind. It might have helped if I had been reassured that I could be dilating very fast and that indeed I should allow myself to bear down. 

- Being asked lots of questions by a midwife that's a good two or three meters away, repeatedly, because she can't hear the answers, is very irritating for a labouring woman. A hearing aid, coming closer, or waiting for my husband would have helped. A lot of those questions could have been answered by my husband. 

- There was no shower head, and while i was able to 'hose myself down' with hot water, a proper shower would have been so much better! Apparently it's some new regulation to do with legionars' disease...

What was good?


I was privileged, not many women in Ireland get the choice to have this kind of birth, and I'm greatful to have had access to the great 'Midwifery Led Unit'. 

- a healthy baby boy with not a scratch on him, knowing he arrived gently and with noboby pulling at him

- being able to stay in the one room, for labour, birth and afterwards. I can't imagine how painful and stressful it must be to move to a different ward to give birth when contractions are so close together, and then to move again afterwards.

-being able to move around and chose my positions

-TENS, gentlebirth, and some gas and air towards the end

-knowing my husband wasn't going to be upset with me being irritable! 

-being able to breathe the baby down gently, and getting no tears! 

-my wishes regarding cord clamping, cutting and third stage management being respected this time. 

about 45 min old

about 12 hours old

about 36 hours old and home with his sister

more health worries

Ti and I spent a week in the childrens' hospital, our GP sent us straight to A&E when I brought him in because of strange flickering eye movements. A&E was hell, it really is a flawed system, where a baby with suspected seizures is sent to A&E instead of straight to the neurology department, to spend 6 hours on a ward with puking and coughing children. A&E was so full that some parents had to stand, balancing their children on their hip while a doctor would examine them! In the evening we were admitted to a ward, where we had a cubicle, as Ti hasn't had his immunisations yet. Having a room was quite lucky, as the ward turned out to have two children with Rota virus (stomach bug that can lead to serious dehydration in babies) and was closed to new admissions the next day, and worse still, was turned into 'the Rota ward' another few days later, having all the other sick babies from throughout the hospital transferred there.

A week of tests revealed that the doctors don't have a clue what's causing his eye movements, but thankfully some of the really scary possibilities like tumors and epilepsy, have been ruled out. On the downside, another eye exam during the investigations showed changes on his eyes, so he has been diagnosed with the same eye disease Emm has. It's been called quite early though, and he was lasered one week later, this monday, which hopefully will improve his chances of keeping his sight. There hasn't been any damage yet, but exudation, which means the disease is active, in one eye. We're lucky it was caught now, i don't know how much damage could have been done to his eye(s) by mid May, which was when they would have otherwise looked at him again.

After the laser operation (Emm had another EUA and FA on the same day) we talked to the neurologist again, and he still couldn't tell us anything about Ti's condition, only that the symptoms don't match anything, really, and they don't know what to look for next. They did mention that it's similar to Opsoclonus, which is often associated with Neuroblastoma, but his tests for that came back negative. Although as different tests were ordered by different doctors, I'm not sure any more whether they said the Neuroblastoma test came back negative, or the tests ordered by the Neurologist came back negative.

We're now to get another appointment for in two months time, unless there is any change to the worse in him. They think he might just outgrow it. He seems to not be bothered by the eye flickering, so I suppose we'll have to wait and see.

We got out of hospital just in time for his christening, we were home a mere 3 hours before the guests from Germany arrived on the Friday evening, but P had done great work during the week and with a bit of help on Saturday morning we had a great feast prepared for the guests at lunchtime. Here a little picture of the buffet:

my mum baked bread and brought it over, as well as some cured westphalian ham, there's a greek and a green salad the godmother brought, eggs from P's mum's hens, pasta salads and a fritatta from P, and lots more. We also had delicious cakes my neighbour made but I didn't get to take a picture of those. 

The tulips in the top right corner of the table didn't quite open up on the day, but half a week later they looked like this! 

new arrival!

This is our little boy, Ti, (his actual name is spelled irish-gaelic and pronounced /ˈteɪɡ/, /ˈtiːɡ/, /ˈtaɪɡ/, like the first half of 'tiger') who arrived Thursday morning, much like his sister after a quick labour and delivery, about and hour after arriving at the hospital. Much like his sister he also is giving me some difficulties feeding him, so it'll be quiet here for a while, as we're working on the correct latch!

waiting for baby...

I knit a little hat for the baby, but I think it's a bit small, I better make another one... The pattern is called 'Norwegian Sweet Baby Cap' and can be found on www.ravelry.com. It's meant to have ties below the ears, but I think I'll make a bigger hat with ties before I put more time into this one. The wool is 'sublime' merino, in 'sage'.

A friend of mine organised a pediatric 1st aid course for 10 of us, it was a hard day for a 38w pregnant lady! Those manikins really are sturdy and CPR is much harder work than you'd think! We learned a lot, mostly refreshing knowledge from previous occupational first aid, and concentrating on what things you do differently for children and infants.

The baby's head has descended a little bit into my pelvis, to just above his/her eyebrows, according to the midwife yesterday, I'd say after all the CPR practice today it might be another bit lower! I'm getting nerve twinges in my groin, and pressure, too! P already brought down the crutches from the attic, in case I get the badly trapped nerve again, that immobilised me for nearly three weeks before Emm was born! I'm sitting here, typing, and looking at my belly, and already starting to feel nostalgic about it being gone soon. This time next month I should have either had the baby or being induced! I'm in two minds, I do feel ready to meet the baby, but at the same time I worry about being able to still give Emm all the attention she needs!

She has her next eye appointment tomorrow morning. After hitting the 37w mark this is another day I want to get through, before going into labour. Maybe after that I'll relax a little more. The roads are still very icy at the moment, too, so it wouldn't harm if the baby decided to come on a day it wasn't so dangerous to drive! I remember before Emm arrived I felt really ready, I had nothing important left to do, lots of little things planned but nothing that was vital! I hope I'll get a little more time to spend with Emm on my own, this weekend was so busy, I hardly spent any time with her during the day. She got an extraordinary amount of bedtime songs though, and lots of extra cuddle time. I think I'm going to make a list of lots of little things to do with Emm before the baby comes, going to the beach, the library, bake... something to look forward to each day while we wait for her sibling!

Our christmas tree and decorations are gone, the living room feels a little bare, but also so much bigger again, with space for the pram, for the baby to sleep in during the day!

Happy News!

We're expecting a baby at the end of Januray! This photo is obviously not today's (13 weeks), but one from when I was pregnant with Emm!

I've felt a lot sicker with this pregnancy so far, and the heat in Germany wasn't helping, nor was the stomach flu... I thought I was over the worst but got sick again last night. But of course I know that I'm lucky compared to many! I mostly feel really nauseous, and gag a lot, but I'm able to keep it down almost all the time, apart from maybe 5 times so far. Still, the constant nausea is kind of annoying!

We had our first hospital appointment and official scan last friday, so it feels OK to tell! It's strange though, having a toddler to run after means I don't have time to worry as much, and I don't feel as attached to this baby yet. I that normal for a second baby? It's becoing more and more real though, some days I even look like I have a little belly already! Although I still don't weigh as much as I did when I got pregnant with Emm, I just about got back to my usual weight of ten stone, while I was nine and a half for most of Emm's life. I lost all of the pregnancy weight within the first three months of breastfeeding, and then another three kilos (half a stone) soon after, she was just a very hungry baby I suppose!

It's strange, I was kind of worried during my pregnancy with Emm, about my breasts sagging, my waist disappearing, the dreaded jelly belly, but I was very lucky, and while I wouldn't mind my breasts being a little fuller, I actually like the softness of my belly. Proof of what my body did, grow a baby, cell by cell...

Well, I better finish this post so I can get some sleep, letting my body do its good work!

cowboy cookies

I made the cowboy cookies from 'vegan cookies invade your cookie jar'! They are so good!

The first batch I made with almonds, 60% chocolate from LIDL, and desiccated coconut, I didn't have ground flax seeds so i liquidised some golden linseeds with the soy milk, and it did turn to a gel like liquid as described in the book. The cookies turned out delicious, if a little dense.

                                                       

The second batch was made as the 'cowgirl cookie' variation, and i replaced 1/4 cup milk and 1tblsp ground flax seeds with 1 egg. The cookies are even more delicious, a little crunchier and lighter.

I've given loads of them away, to friends, and P brought some into work, and the rest are in my cake tin. I hadn't heard of cowboy cookies before, they are my new favourites. Next time I'm going to try freeze some of the dough, so i can make them fresh really quickly, when I have guests.

Other news, Emm is standing up on her own! And teething worse than ever, the poor mite!

simple fun

I never thought babies like their play pens, but our Emm definitely does! She actually brings me over to it and points and says 'oggy', which means 'up', or 'down', depending on where she is! We then have some fun, pulling her around in the balls, and putting her upside down, while she giggles. When she's calmed down a little she starts to choose balls, one by one, and chuck them over the edge, saying 'o-oh!' (Giving me precious time to knit a few rows, or check my mail, or run up to the bathroom). After 10 or 15 minutes she usually has enough and I take her out and we throw all the balls back in.


Initially we had just 50 balls, with a little foldable ball pit (one of her many christmas presents), but they weren't even covering the floor, so I went to the toy shop and got a bag of a hundred! She's getting so much fun out of this, and there's no batteries, no recorded voices, just colourful spheres... And in summer, if we get any decent warm weather, we can put some into a paddling pool! Ok, maybe not, if the last few summers are anything to go by.

my knitting needle broke!

i was using these knitpro interchangeable circular needles and i was just trying to fasten one of them again as it kept coming loose (i mustn't have used the cable key properly) and it just snapped! and they are my only 3.25mm needles, so the 'little sister's dress' is on ice for the moment, and it's the weekend, i was really looking forward to making some progress...

well, i'm going to bed.

Update 06-Feb-2010: I was lying! I did have more 3.25mm needles, I found 2 sets of 4 double pointed ones, so now I'm knitting with 7 dpns!! Bit of a pain, but better than nothing!


Update 10-Mar-2010: After a visit to This is Knit, to buy new circular needles, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I hadn't been doing anything wrong (always good to know) and also, that I won't have to pay for a replacement! Should get a phone call to say the replacement arrived, any day now! This is great, Thanks girls! 

Great sunshiny day

We had a great sunshiny day today! I decided to drop a book back to the library and take Emm for a walk by the sea, she fell asleep on the way so I decided to have a little knitting lunch break for myself! Listening to classical music on the radio and looking out at this...

Seaside lunch break
Originally uploaded by tulpenpink

When she woke up we went for a walk, it was quite windy so we went into the town for some lunch, just us two girls! We sat outside a cafe in the sun and had gorgeous fish pie, chatting to the ladies at the other table who were besotted with my little girl. Everybody was so friendly, a sunny day does that to people over here! I had a nice coffee, Emm and I shared a macaroon, yum, yum! And then we had to get some foodshopping done.


Thinking what a great day we'd had, I arrived at home, only to see my friend Cate pulling up outside, I hadn't seen her in over a week so we had tea, banana bread and a good chat in the house and Emm was over the moon, as always when she sees Cate (who's a primary teacher and brilliant with kids). Then we all went across to my Neighbour V, where we got more tea, and biscuits, and the kids had a ball.


M had no trouble going to sleep tonight and my beloved brought home some really good chips after football, and we had them with spicy chicken wings that I'd put in the oven earlier, mmmh! So good, so bad and so easy!


He's off to the pub with his football mates now, so I'm enjoying some online time and some more knitting! Life is good!

strong bones without dairy?

I was visiting my neighbour today, so our little daughters could play together, or, as the seem to prefer at this age, play on their own while eyeing each other up suspiciously every now and then, and to take toys and treats away from each other!

We were talking about their diets, and Abby was saying her daughter used to hardly eat anything, it was a battle to get any food into her, even when the granny tried to give her ice cream and other treats, she'd just have a nibble and then walk away from it. Until she talked to a nutritionist who advised her to take her 14 months old daughter off dairy! She was really reluctant to do it, because of all the general advice out there, stressing they have to drink loads of milk. After some deliberation and with a list of other foods containing calcium, she went ahead with it, and could not believe the change it made! within a few days her daughter took to her food, enjoying all her meals and snacks! She suspects the milk and formula was making her feel full or queasy, so she never felt like eating, and now, without, she's got an appetite.

While Emm loves all her food, she does have eczema on her wrists, behind her knees and on her ankles. I'm pretty sure it has to do with teething, as it gets worse whenever she has other teething symptoms, too, but I wonder would taking her off dairy make a difference? I'm generally suspect of  messing with babys' and toddlers' diets, but she doesn't actually like to drink milk, so I wonder is that a sign? She does like her milky porridge though, and cheese and yoghurt, and whipped cream (surprise, surprise!)...

We feed her a diet of mostly unprocessed, natural foods, withing reason. Milk alternatives, like soy milk, are very processed, and I'd prefer not to introduce new artificial foods to replace (relatively) natural foods, like milk, but if it improved her eczema, it might be worth it?

I tried to google the topic but the amount of sites from animal activists, calcium supplement manufacturers and old school pediatricians is overwhelming, so I don't know where to get info on calcium content, and also quite importantly, calcium absorption rates, without spending hours researching and copying data into spreadsheets...

I'm worried about her calcium intake, and vitamin D, too, but I wonder how much of that is fueled by dairy council propaganda... Nutrition really is a mine field, once you start thinking about it, taking into account protein intake, vitamin D levels, absorption rates... But at the same time, we all seem to do reasonably well on our less than perfect diets!

nearly forgot!

the mittens!!

and the wool i used was manos del uruguay silk blend. so nice to work with!

stella pixie hat and yoga

Oh it's been a long time since I last posted! I just don't seem to have the time to read and post... During the day the lap top is off limits as M likes to take the keys off it with her little fingers, and if I don't let her she gets very annoyed! And in the evenings (if I'm not out), after the dishes and tidying up, I'm often so tired, blog reading or writing is just not on the agenda! I did however manage to knit this 'stella pixie hat'

and I am currently working on a 'little sister's dress'. It requires a lot more concentration than the hat did, but I'm ready for a challenge!

On Monday I went to my first yoga class in over 15 months, the last one being my last pregnancy yoga session! I felt like it was the first time i did something relaxing for just myself since I've had M! I was lying on the mat, focusing on my breathing, and of course wasn't actually supposed to think about anything, but this thought popped into my mind!

I'm very excited about starting yoga again, it just feels like I deserve doing something for myself! I'm hoping to find an audio CD to help me practise at home, too, something I haven't done with any of my previous yoga classes over the years. But now, I am actually at home during the day, and most days there is an hour where I could maybe fit 20 minutes of exercise in, if I put my mind to it! Usually I use M's nap time to catch up on laundry and dishes and tidying, but maybe it would do me good to take some time, and calm down and focus on just one thing at a time.

I'm reading (when I'm getting to read) 'buddhism for mothers' at the moment, and I hope to bring some mindfulness into my life. It'll be hard for a seasoned multitasker and well known scatterbrain like me, but I hope it'll benefit my parenting, and our quality of life! Time is flying so fast, and I worry my career break will be over in a flash and I won't have used it as best I could, if I just carry on being dragged through my days by trying to catch up with housework and little tasks, while keeping lots of random thoughts and lists in my head and never really being in the moment, enjoying time with my daughter. It's often only moments, one moment during the whole day, where I realise how lucky I am to have this time with her, and that I haven't been fully there all day!

baby going exploring

we went to the local soccer club's family fun day, a great way to enjoy the rare sunshine! my brave little baby went off exploring, without a look back! this is how far she got before she slowed down and then turned around...

my little girl

...is crawling (commando), and waving goodbye, and really playing with her toys... she's learning so much every day! she's so fast, you can't leave her alone for a minute, she'll be going straight for the sockets or a paper bag, or anything else she's not supposed to have... she giggles on the changing table if i blow raspberries on her belly, she shouts angrily if i take the remote control or my mobile phone off her, she loves other children and will 'chat' to them and smile at them!

she'll be 10 months old tomorrow! 10 months ago, around this time, i was retiring from a green thai curry dinner, allowing myself a half glass of red wine, and waiting for the water to heat up, for my warm bath! dreaming about meeting my baby. 10 months ago, i didn't even know if it was going to be a boy or a girl. although i'd had one beautiful dream, where i was holding my little girl's hand.

if i hadn't been approved for my career break i would be back in work on tuesday! i am so glad that i can stay at home, to spend time with emm, and watch her grow!

I baked bread!

This is the second batch of white bread I made this week! I'm delighted, two in a row that worked out! After a very bad attempt last week (the bread was stale as soon as it was out of the oven! too dry!) it's nice to see it work out. I don't have an exact recipe, but it goes like this

1 sachet of dry yeast
mix 250ml milk - and 250ml warm water
1 teaspoon of salt
1 tablespoon of oil
enough white flour to make a good dough

I have a foodmixer, so I start with the yeast, half the milky water and a little flour, stirring it with the dough hook attachment to a yoghurty consistence. I then leave it until it starts to bubble up, maybe 20 minutes? Then I add the rest of the water, the salt and oil, and on the lowest setting, slowly add flour until the dough is nearly, but not quite, dry enough to handle. Turning it out onto a floured surface, I knead it some more, adding more flour if needed, then return it to the mixing bowl, cover with a clean tea towel and put into a quiet, warm place. There I leave it for about an hour and a half or until doubled in size. I knock it back, shape two loaves and put them into two loave tins, leaving them to rise for at least an hour, after that I check on them and if they look well risen I preheat the oven and as soon as it's hot they go in, 200 C in a fan oven for 45 minutes (although I think I might have done 220 for 35-40 minutes the last time... I really should write these things down...)

The loaves are nice and airy, with a hard crust on top, but squishable on the sides. There is some satisfaction in pulling good bread out of the oven! I already passed half a loaf on to my neighbour who's forever giving me thick slices of her cakes to sample! And today she brought two scones from Avoca, yummie!

Other news... we have realised Emm doesn't really need the night feeds any more, she's just waking up for a little drink and cuddle! So for the last week and a half I have more or less weaned her off the night feeds, with P's help. He's been looking after her when she wakes up, which is usually around 4. Some nights it just takes a soother to get her back to sleep, others she needed a little cuddle. Last night I tried to take over, but no luck, she could smell my milk and just wouldn't go back to sleep! When she also started to cry I had to wake P, and within a few minutes she was asleep. I'm a little sad to hand over that ability to soothe her back to sleep with a little milk, that connection we have at night, but on the other hand, I have so much more energy! I didn't just dream of going back to bed while making breakfast, I actually bounced out of bed in the morning, and getting lots done during the day! She's nine and a half months now, and becoming very aware of what she wants and doesn't want, so maybe it's a good time...

day out in muenster

P, M and I had a day out while we were in Germany, just the three of us, which was nice. We visited Muenster. Apart from a few showers to begin with, we even got good weather!

There was an organic market on the Domplatz, we bought a Waldmeister plant and chestnut honey for my mum, and had some yummie Bratwurst, and got some white peaches for M.

Muenster is very flat, so everybody cycles!

Emm had great fun in front of the mirror while her daddy was looking for new runners...

vintage crochet baby dress

about 40 years ago, before she was married, and i think before she was even engaged, my mum crocheted a little red baby dress, and embroidered some flowers onto it. Years later she had a baby girl, and another, but somehow didn't get round to putting the dress on them, but she kept it through all these years! And presented it to my little daughter last week! the style and colour are very nearly back in fashion, and it's super cute over jeans!



...as you can see in the second photo emm has discovered her tongue and uses it a lot to make interesting sounds, mostly gerrell, brell, babblabblabb! she's having so much fun! the only downside is it's hard to take a picture that doesn't have a little pink tongue in it!!


i'm really touched to think she kept it all these years!

nappy rash...

open air nappy changing, with a long break in between nappies! thanks to air, sunshine, caldesene and bepanthen, her nappy rash cleared up quite fast, it's the first time she's had it (at 7.5 months) so i know i can count myself lucky...

better bib - success!

yes, it's definitely working! so tonight at stitch and bitch i'll be finishing the edges!